Jerry Brown-Chris Christie cage match

When two outspoken cross-coastal governors start a war of words, it could get ugly.

When one of them is New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, you can bet it already has.

Speaking to California delegates at last week’s remarkable-for-all-the-wrong-reasons Republican Convention in Tampa, Christie called 74-year-old Gov. Jerry Brown an “old retread,” and said Californians made a “bad choice” with the former two-time governor:

“I’ve gotta tell you, Jerry Brown? Jerry Brown? I mean, he won the New Jersey presidential primary over Jimmy Carter when I was 14 years old.”

The usually-feisty Brown publicly played down Christie’s remarks — until a speech to union members in Los Angeles on Thursday.

There, before a supportive audience, the fit Brown challenged the rotund Christie to a trio of athletic competitions: Chin-ups, push-ups, and a three-mile run:

“There’s nothing wrong with being a little retread. Not as much hair, I’ve slowed down a little bit, but I have to tell you, I ran 3 miles in 29 minutes two nights ago.”

Brown also took time to respond to Christie’s crack about being 14 years old:

“I may know a hell of a lot more than you, because when you were 14, I was passing the farm labor bill. I was passing worker protections in California.”

Under Brown’s proposed format, Christie clearly wouldn’t have a chance. That’s why another setup — an old-fashioned cage match — would be the perfect venue.

The older but spry Brown could try to whack away at Christie, but all the big man would need to do is half-land one sweeping haymaker, followed by a pile driver and a three-count to win the inaugural BBG — Big Bad Governor — world title.

Also, anyone who was hoping for Brown to deliver a 74-year-old’s retort to Clint Eastwood’s 82-year-old ramble will be disappointed to learn Brown is skipping this week’s Democratic National Convention.

Jesse Garnier

Jesse Garnier is the editor and founder of SFBay. A Mission District native, he also teaches journalism as associate professor at San Francisco State University.