Shocking mugging fail in the Mission

I’m born and raised in the Mission. From 24th and Utah to 17th and Dolores. Born here, hope to die here. And yeah, we did a LOT of running as kids. And some as adults.

The electric shock, though, is a relatively new weapon in the arsenal of City criminals. Noah, a reader of Mission Mission, got one deployed on him at 14th and Dolores and lived to tell the tale:

“I was talking on my phone when a man TASED (yes tazed) me on my left side.  It was not as bad as i thought it would be but def scared shit out of me.”

Now, I’m going to call stun gun instead of Taser™ here: A taser deploys fish-hook style electrodes into the victim, and, though I’ve read Noah’s report several times, I don’t see a “pulled fish hooks out of my jacket” in his account. Feel free to correct me here.

Either way, the shocking attack is yet another urban hazard to look out for while walking down any street in the Mission.

And yes, as a native, I’m empowered to officially declare 14th and Dolores as “The Mission.” It’s two blocks from the freaking Mission, first of all. And it sure ain’t SOMA, the Haight, or the Castro. Perhaps the Castro, but that ends at Church Street. As we ALL know.