Roller coaster for sale, fair condition

If you’ve got half a million dollars, a huge backyard, and are at least as tall as this sign, you can be the new owner of the Hurricane roller coaster from the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk.

The 20-year-old thrill ride is up for sale on the website of Ital International, listed in “fair” mechanical condition at a price of $500,000. Shipping and handling not included. Literally tons of assembly required.

We’re not sure what “fair” mechanical condition means in a roller coaster. Visitors to the Boardwalk can ponder that as they ride the Hurricane for one final summer. The website lists the coaster as being available in September.

The Boardwalk is mum for now on what the Hurricane’s nausea-inducing replacement will be. The park is also swapping out the venerable “Crazy Surf” ride for an upgraded model somehow already named one of California’s ten best amusement park rides of 2012 by the L.A. Times.

Cruising through the Ital International website selling the Hurricane coaster is kind of like going to a run-down carnival with your dodgy uncle. After he buys you some popcorn and a huge cotton candy, he disappears for hours while you run out of coupons going on every tired, worn-out ride three or four times.

Ital sells everything from complete bumper car rides ($120,000) , to “barrels of monkeys ($18,000),” to full log-style water rides ($1.2 million).