Dear Timmy: My darling, we need to have a little chat.
You’re taking the mound against the Miami Marlins this afternoon, with whom we currently have the same record. And frankly, it makes me a little bit nervous.
Now let’s not get it twisted: I’m hardly some fair-weather fan bailing out on my favorite pitcher just because he’s racked up a couple losses.
But let’s also stay serious: You’re not lookin’ too sharp out on the bump right now.
Although it’s been hard, I’ve continued to support you while ERA has ballooned to 6.04. I’ve screamed so loud every time you get a strikeout that my neighbors might be tempted to call the cops.
We can’t sugarcoat things. You haven’t made it past the fourth inning in your last three outings. And while you seem to keep it together for three, your fourth-inning meltdowns aren’t to my liking. This habit of giving up four runs in the fourth inning can’t become a permanent staple in your outings.
And we won’t even mention your home plate collision last Sunday against the Athletics.
Bruce Bochy told ESPN he’s confident that you will “regain (your) All-Star form soon.” Not to mention that you’re 2-0 with a 2.11 ERA against the Marlins in three starts. And heck, both the offense and defense have got to be extra stoked to back you up after the 14-7 slaughter they handed down yesterday in Miami.
Just think how sick it would be if Angel Pagan and The Melk Man could rack up another four RBIs a piece today.
Those are good odds to have on your side, my dear. If you can spread that out over a full ballgame — and not burn out after three innings — that would be stupendous.
Just. Get. A win.
I don’t know if you need to start wearing your socks inside out, start eating In-N-Out again, or dump some secret girlfriend that’s distracting you.
Just get your Cy-Young-ian swag back, please.
Trust me, you don’t want me to player-fan-divorce myself from you like I did Barry Zito.
Peace, Love and Lets-Get-One-For-The-Win-Column.