Outside Lands bar crawl on the cheap

I can’t talk about Outside Lands. I just can’t.

The unnecessary amount of anger that I experience when I think about how stupidly expensive tickets to Golden Gate Park’s fete de musique is unparalleled.

I would love to see Passion Pit followed by Dr. Dog followed by — what is hopefully — a throw-back Metallica set. But a one-day pass costing more than half of my rent!? I turned into She-Hulk on the spot.

And that’s just for the ticket! That doesn’t even cover the ridiculous prices of food and beverages once you get inside the main entrance. Don’t get me wrong, they really do pack some good eats into OL. But it shouldn’t cost me the equivalent of two concert tees to get a beer buzz before Neil Young & Crazy Horse takes the stage Friday night.

Enter those sarcastic bargain-seekers at Thrillist, who have set up a six-bar crawl so all of you with unlimited concert ticket funds can get sloshed before even entering the GGP premises.

From the opinion of someone who has frequented a Sunset bar or two — who, me? — the list is pretty smart: Underdogs and Chug Pub are not only right across the street from the entrance to the park, but both serve food as well as cheap beer.

Social Kitchen Brewery and Little Shamrock are a little farther into the Sunset towards the Haight, but still good choices if you want to get your buzz on and take a looooonger stroll to the concert gates.

Plus the cool kids at Thrillist — who, side note, would be even cooler if they’d take a look at my job application already — provided a quirky key at the bottom of said “treasure map” to let drink-seekers know what kind of booze-age and entertainment to expect from each venue.

Maybe I will post up at Chug Pub myself; bring a couple of friends to kill a beer tower and hope to overhear Jack White‘s set run into Stevie Wonder‘s.

Nevermind, the thought is making me mad again.