This Week In Orange: Techno Viking Edition

That’s right, Giants Nation! You heard me!

Right-fielder Hunter Pence has officially been dubbed The Techno Viking!

Well, at least that’s what I’ve chosen to call him.

Earlier in the week, I posted a shoutout to my Giants-loving Facebook group “You Know You Bleed Orange & Black When. . .” to see if anyone could come up with the perfect mascot for our team’s newest asset.

My former-high school classmate Lisa dubbed him The Gargoyle. My tutu-twin Melanie likened him to an emu. But there is no doubt in this crazy-sports-writing-mind that the 6-foot-4, 218-pound Norse God we have in the outfield is anything other than the YouTube legend himself.

Not to mention that Pence has come out of his shell on the Giants’ recent road trip, posting two doubles in just one game against NL rivals the Colorado Rockies. (Who, yes, we swept quite mightily last weekend.)

And after splitting what was promised to be a competitive series in St. Louis — except for that 15-0 beat down we issued on Wednesday — our Giants are still one game up in the west against those pesky Los Angeles Dodgers.

So now we come home for a long stand against one team that we’ve swept, and a team that has swept us.

And what does that mean, Giants faithful? It means leave your fair-weather baseball fan friends at home and come talk some real baseball with this tutu-sportin’ blonde before this series kicks off!

Pull up a stool and pour that Bourbon & Coke. We’ve got some San Fran baseball to discuss:

Angel’s In The Outfield: And at the plate, because Pagan has been on fire since Big Daddy Boch put him in that lead-off spot to begin this last road trip.

Pagan has gone 11-27 in the last seven games with 12 runs, 2 homers and six RBIs.

He was quite hot against the Rockies, who arrive at AT&T on Orange Friday for a weekend series I am hoping will be just as fruitful.

While we’re talking about hot our offense has been…

Busta’ Move: (An ode to my mom, who always excitedly refers to our Georgia-born catcher as “Busta’ Man.”)

Posey is on fire, going 12-25 with HRs in consecutive games. He might have gone 1-3 with a walk on Thursday, but we all know that umpire was looking to get that game over with in a hurry and wasn’t calling plays properly. (And do not get me started on that BS call in the 6th inning that let the Cardinals bring in that third run.)

All the same, he’s still led the league in RBIs, batting average, on-base percentage and slugging percentage since the All-Star Break.

And while we’re still talking about hot offense…

‘Sup, Scooter: Marco Scutaro, you are something else all together, sir.

We are all very happy you hit that grande salami on Wednesday night to bring the Giants’ slaughter up to 15-0. We would’ve liked it more if you’d busted that out the following game.

No biggy. Just do something like that against the Nationals next week and all will be well.

Panda Sightings: Pablo Sandoval will play a couple of games with the San Jose Giants starting Friday, says a Chronicle report.

Please oh please, Panda. No more splits. Unless we make it to the post-season and need that crazy-ness. Please and thank you.

Up Around The Bend: My dearest darling taco-loving Freaky Franchise kicks off the home opener Friday night against the Rockies with a 5.43 ERA. Lincecum held the Rockies to one run in with five hits in six innings when he faced them earlier this week.

And should we need to go to the bullpen in case of an emergency? No biggie there either: Javier Lopez has held the Rockies left-handers to 7 hits in their last 43 at-bats.

And as for next week’s series against Baby Bryce and the Washington Nationals?

I might have to make a special visit to all of you early next week to deliver a preview.

Big weekend of August baseball ahead, sports fans! And I’m expecting to see orange-and-black viking helmets popping up at the ballpark in the not-too-distant future!

Feel free to connect with me on Facebook and drop me a line or two, since I still refuse to have a Twitter account! I’d love to hear from all you Giants fans out there in SFBay Readerland!

Peace, Love and. . . BRING ON THAT SUPER HOT AUGUST BASEBALL WEATHER!